I am going to be honest here, I am struggling. I have been for a while. It's one of the reasons that I felt the need to write again....I enjoy reading, I enjoy writing and for me the two are therapeutic. So in the midst of the chaos that is my life right now, I search for the moments that lead me to this therapy! Quite time in the afternoon when one or both children are napping, time when they are playing quietly together and getting along, or once they have been put to bed at night. I need that time of quiet and reflection as my day is filled with noise!
Being a stay at home mom is not always easy. It may have been easier if I had done so from the start but I wasn't able to. I came into this experience with a 3 year old and 5 year old with Sensory Processing Disorder (not diagnosed until he was 5!). We've made it almost a year and there are still days where I wonder if this was the right decision for our family. I had great dreams of what it would be like to be home with my children every day. Loving them, cuddling with them, having fun with them, cherishing every moment and never looking back. Adding home school to the picture I was excited to see them grow and learn. For the most part that was true, however, dealing with Ethan's SPD can sometimes be trying. Dealing with Abby's constant need for attention in the midst of homeschooling her brother proved to be a challenge. We made it through the year and were thrilled for summer.
Summer though....came with a whole different set of issues. My pregnancy, miscarriage, heart problem and hospitalization took us from mid-March to mid-April. We wrapped up school in May, but issues were still present. The children didn't have a schedule and it showed....they just don't know what to do with all that free time, yet they are always bored and looking for fun! Summer has proved to be more trying than our long winter was, doesn't seem possible but it's true. So as we gear up to start school again in 26 days I am ready to start working on a schedule for them, get them back into the routine, pray over the year to come as I now have both children to educate, pray for our finances as we have hit a rough patch this summer, pray for my health and strength, pray for my children that they would be receptive and pray for my husband who needs encouragement for the work he's doing for our family. Praying over my Thirty-One business as it's taken on a rough patch as well, I am just not partying like I want to nor how I need to. But this is my secondary income and right now my family needs it to get by, soon it will be needed to get Abby through dance again and I'd really love to get Ethan involved in some activities this year too.
Psalm 37:39-40 "But the salvation of the righteous is of the Lord: he is their strength in the time of trouble. And the Lord shall help them, and deliver them: he shall deliver them from the wicked, and save them, because they trust in him."
No comments:
Post a Comment